"That's the thing, we don't need to be fixed, because we're not broken. We're human beings, not machines. We have feelings, emotions, highs, lows and everything in between. Not only is that okay, but is Beautiful as well." - Amanda Fernandez
As, I returned the love on Instagram that so many has shown me (thank you kittens), I happened upon this quote. Initially, I wasn't going to read it as, it was a lengthy meme and there is something about mouthy memes that bothers me. So, I scrolled past it. The gentle voice inside my head (I literally just thought, "that sounds kind of creepy and slightly off." Oh well!) said, "Go back." So, I did and for the second time in about a week and a half, boy am I glad I did.
The other day, I applied for a writing gig (we won't name any names) and I was fairly confident with my work as it wasn't my best, but it certainly wasn't my worst by a long-shot. I received a reply from them yesterday--now, let me preface this with, I've been in Sales for a very long time and handle rejection very well (even though, I must be honest and say I'm far more tender when it comes to my own creations, personal work and/or projects). Gleefully, I clicked on that email and knew that it was a chance that it was a rejection letter, but I was still excited and could handle it if they chose to not accept my work.
I began reading the letter, what caught my eye first was their rating of my article. My mouth just flung open and remained agape for at least 15 seconds. I read on and by the time I got to the second sentence they had insulted me on so many levels, I became ashamed. Ashamed that they called themselves professionals. The stabbing sensation of each word I read was almost suffocating. It felt as if someone had awakened yesterday morning, sharpened their favorite ice pick and headed out with the sole intention to stab me in every vulnerable space recognizable to the naked eye.
As an artist, I understand that everything isn't for everyone. My writing style may not have been a good fit for that particular organization, but what happened to professionalism? Why so harsh? I mean, to rip into someone's soul and person that you don't even know is bananas to me. Ironically, the piece I submitted literally, encouraged and spoke on us taking care of our emotional and mental health. Yet, the response was so cruel. For a minute, I was devastated. I doubted myself and writing skills and passions. I rethought my entire writing life. But, after the pain subsided and I gained clarity, it dawned on me, Fuck them!
I shall continue to write, utilize my voice and not conform to who "they" said I'm supposed to be. So, thank you for the motivation.
There's an old adage that says, "What someone does to you is their karma, how you respond is yours." It's one of my most favorite mantras. The rejection itself didn't bother me but the way it was done carried the tone of Satan (or any other demonic entity you'd like to use) and I wanted to respond in like but, I chose to listen to the small, still voice inside and use their negativity for inspiration to continue along my Divine Life Path, which includes every part of me writing on my own platform. There is a way to do absolutely, everything with dignity and grace--they chose to go low. I went high.
Live out Loud. Live your dream. Keep pushing.
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*Swish, scratch, swish*...went the brushes and palm swipes of seven-subtly, eager artists against their roughly-textured and prepped canvases. Resonating incredibly soothing feels, like a medium-bristled brush being lovingly and carefully raked through her hair. It gave her the chills (click to read more of the sample and purchase)...
She, steadily walked down the busy road, yet there were no appropriate sidewalks and cars were whizzing by. At any given time, there may have been a million questions/comments/thoughts/replays/intentions and words traveling along the synapses of her nerve endings, overflowing her system and blowing her mind (click to read more of the sample and purchase)...