On purpose...

The last day of the year is upon us...this is generally a time of reflection and manifestation of new "goals". Boy, did this time both fly by and drag along, all at the same, damn time. 

*This has been an extremely active one (year) for me...far more than I could have ever anticipated. The culmination of this year was just as layered as I am. It was not so equal parts of happy...wildly happy to be precise; alarmingly devastating and traumatic, bold and confident, disturbingly disappointing, ravishing ruins, not so trendy transformations, ambitious arrivals and genuine goodbyes. 

*Stop. Breathe. Reset. One very particular, ambitious arrival was my redemption song. Stop. Breathe. Reset. There is no race here...take your time, digest, absorb, self-examine, purge. Heal. Reset. Go. And, I did...I went...full-steam ahead, no holds barred, in my old negro spiritual,  "I can not be held back" voice. SWITCH. That fucker came out of no where and was no where in the intentions nor plan(s). The universe was on some old, "Bow Down" ish--I did just that. I submitted, eventually. 

*I'm generally, an "on purpose" non-planner because of things like the above...when I plan, and sooo many things doesn't go according, it devastates my core and causes extreme disappointment(s) and stresses me. There are some old adages that I keep close to my heart, "if you want to tell life a joke, tell it your plan" and the "the root to all disappointment is expectations". I've found those two things to be extremely true...with no expectations you stay flexible enough to ride that thing called life, like a boss with far, far less ruffled feathers. 

*Two weeks ago, I believed I was on a very clear path...and out of no where, that plan was abruptly disrupted. Halted. Ceased. I'm grateful for it...I've been shifted into another arena...an elevated portion and untapped source of self. I, welcome it's arrival and the divine, abundance it comes with. Every moment of this year carried great meaning. A lesson to learn, with the intentions to encourage and propel into the infinite sky. To soar, meant that I had to embrace the great big things along with the minutiae that stuck to my system, just as marijuana does to your fatty, soluble cells. 

*I've learned that I am one tough chic...I can be touched...I can be broken; broken open. Although, in breaking, the dead and it's weight was disposed of, the space cleansed, renewed and replaced with new life. Emerging from the ruins as a Superhero. A, Phoenix so to speak (which is where I currently reside). I am no pushover and a force to be reckoned with...one that now knows her power. I, have no plans to create any New Year resolutions (I never do)...my only plan is to remain flexible and enjoy every nuance of this ride. 

Namaste and Happy New Year! <3

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