Don't be so hard on yourself

Tracy Chapman's, "Say Hallelujah", soothingly seeps from the speakers as I gather my thoughts. The process of processing my thoughts today has proven to be somewhat challenging. I've had coffee already, even though I wasn't too pleased with it this morning as my Keurig machine decided to brew me a half cup of a coffee-like substance, which is absolutely appropriate for this incredibly, special time. Ani DiFranco's, "32 Flavors (Live)" lulls and carries me into the next part of today's entry. 

I'm beyond your peripheral vision so you might want to turn your head. - Ani Difranco - 32 Flavors (Live)

I'd written a completely different piece this morning, deleted it and here I am, again. The beginning. 

It appears lots of folks are also experiencing this feeling of "all over the place" and "still" at the same time (I blame ALL and EVERY bit of this nonsense on the Mercury Retrograde--arrgh!). I encountered a woman yesterday that's working on and through the great possibility that life as she's known it for the past 16 years is about to take a drastic and traumatic turn. Change. Change is constant, necessary and births new life. Yet, it doesn't mean that it will be easy or won't cause tremendous hurt. My heart went out to her...I listened and shared parts of my own story with her with the intentions to let her know that she wasn't alone. While telling her my story, my heart sank; I tried to keep my voice in tune/upbeat and my face cheery, but anyone that knows me, knows that I do not possess a poker face. It all became fresh again, the nightmare that was; the picture projected on the stark, white wall of my mind gave me a peephole into the pain and murky & muddy waters and quicksand she and her family are about to endure. Logically, I understand it's necessary. I call them, "necessary, uglies"--my heart does what it wants though and I don't tamper with it, as it's one of the purest parts of me. 

Your young eyes, old soul - Toshi Reagon - You

Beethovan's, "Moonlight Sonata", calmly brings me to a simple close--today, I'd like to simply dedicate this blog to love and understanding. May we all try just a little harder, with a tad more might to simply love ourselves, one another and understand the dynamics and layers that makes us the complex humans that we are. 

“Love is the bridge that leads from the I sense to the We, and there is a paradox about personal love. Love of another individual opens a new relation between the personality and the world. The lover responds in a new way to nature and may even write poetry. Love is affirmation; it motivates the yes responses and the sense of wider communication. Love casts out fear, and in the security of this togetherness we find contentment, courage. We no longer fear the age-old haunting questions: "Who am I?" "Why am I?" "Where am I going?" - and having cast out fear, we can be honest and charitable.”
Carson McCullers - The Mortgaged Heart: Selected Writings

Namaste
photo cred:  google.com