Just a Mustard Seed...

Interestingly enough, the older I get, the more tears seem to escape from my tear ducts and eyelids. I'm okay with it when it's my intention, it's the part that I have given zero permission to do so, yet it boldly does it anyway, that I have a problem with it. 

Last night, I literally wept myself to sleep as I tell you entrepreneurship is a beast. It's no easy feat, as a matter of fact, I posted a meme on @eclecticallybalanced 's Instagram page (be sure to follow us!) about 2 weeks ago regarding this very topic. Working for self isn't glamourous at all--you'll be depressed, cry a lot, be broke as fuck and have no idea where the next anything is coming from; ultimately, you'll want to quit, but don't!

Last night, I told my bestie I was deleting everything that I've worked incredibly hard at, for sooo many years. Her reply was simple, "don't!" I wasn't trying to hear her, and shortly thereafter I ended the phone call and fell asleep in a pool of tears. 

Why do I work for myself? 

I'm sure that's a question that many has asked in their minds, or wanted to ask me, or just boldly asked me--I work for myself for various reasons, but one of them is, my life path was made clear to me many years ago, in my very early 20's; as hard as I would work for someone else (and I did), I will never work as hard for them as I would myself. One will work 10x's harder for themselves as they would anyone else. But, you have to be tenacious and have a firmly rooted belief of yourself and Source.

Follow the signs

She (my bestie) called me @ 8:30pm last night, she was greeted with a vacant and despondent voice, she didn't say much, we just exchanged breath for a while; you can do stuff like that with your bestie. The Universe must have let her know that I needed her, and she was there like always. Thank YOU, you are appreciated!

I had worked diligently all day (at least 12 hours) on various projects and felt as if I had made no progress. I was at my wits end. Most of you have no idea, but I'm completely into the meaning of numbers, so when she called at the exact moment that I felt the shittiest, I looked the number up. It means various things, but the part that stood out most to me was,

"Angel Number 830 brings a message from the angels that the life choices and decisions you have been intuitively prompted to make have manifested positive opportunities that will ensure that your material and monetary needs are met as you follow your passion with purpose.

Angel Number 830 encourages you to continue on your current path with enthusiasm and confidence (last night that confidence had vanished into the ethers), knowing that you are successfully manifesting all that you will ever need along your path. Trust that you are safe and protected along your journey and the angels and Ascended Masters are beside you all the way. "
source: Angel Numbers - Joanne Sacred Scribes (www.sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com)

Blessings in unfamiliar faces

This morning, I awakened with the intention to do just as I said last night (I'm a woman of my word, when I say I'm going to do something, dammit, I do it!), but, I had a mustard seed of faith left which strong - armed my will to delete my work. I began to work diligently, once again. Boy am I glad I did.

This morning one of my friends on Instagram (we follow one another) responded to my response this morning. I responded, again. And, from there an organic conversation began. I was a tad trepidatious to have such an elongated conversation as this was social media and some folks are Kray! But, spirit guided me and I allowed the conversation to flow as it should.

I was asked about my blog and still slightly defeated, I shared some information about it. I checked my inbox later to find an amazing message of positive feedback. As a writer, it's sometimes imperative to know that folks are reading your work, as it inspires you to keep going. So, a BIG THANK YOU for motivating me this morning.

After settling comfortably into the conversation, it was revealed that this beautiful human, that had uplifted my spirits and filled my bucket, is a firefighter. I was both truly intrigued by this choice of work and grateful to the universe for sending this interaction my way.

I needed more information, as this person is sitting on a gem of greatness. Hell, they ARE greatness. Omg...the nerve endings throughout my body awakened as I begin to get all the feels (the good ones!) I asked for a story, one with a good ending, because aint nobody got time for sadness, especially when I was hanging on by a thread.

​The following story is user submitted and their very own words...please enjoy.

Angels walk amongst us, everyday!

"One winter day, we had ice and a lot of snow. We received a call on two kids that were playing on a frozen pond. When the caller had returned, the children were gone, they disappeared and there was a hole in the pond...temperatures were around 15 degrees. 

We responded with (3) engines, one ladder and a dive team...we stretched the ladder out, in an attempt to look into the hole, but no luck. That was the first step we took as to try to prevent sending the divers into such, extremely cold, temperatures. After that attempt failed, we sent in the divers. 

*There was a break in the story as I had to standby as they'd received a call for a collapsed building! 

I quickly sent out a prayer as I wanted all those involved to remain safe. Plus, this was all so surreal to me. 

They returned as the call had been cancelled!*

​Won't HE Do IT!!

So, now the divers were in the water, desperately searching the pond. While everyone else was simply waiting on the outcome. We searched the pond for about an hour and a half. The news, media and everyone else was there. Still nothing. The fire department, police and medics began to feel bad...as if we failed. It was a horrible feeling. Then! We received a call over the radio saying, The two kids were located @ home hiding, because they were afraid that they were going to be in trouble. When they heard all the sirens coming, they thought they had done something wrong."

LAWDDD! When I got to the end of their story, I just couldn't! I had some mixed up emotions. I was incredibly proud of the entire team that sacrificed their own safety in an effort to find these children that were in distress and possibly dying...God that pulled at my heart strings and I imagined myself in that situation, just a hot damn mess. They probably would have rolled me out of there on a gurney. But, their resolve and calm and selflessness, was mind-blowing. 

The other emotions I felt was outrage that these children created such a catastrophe; but in true kid form, they had no idea the magnitude of their actions. So, gratefully, everyone wound up being okay.  

Never underestimate the power of intentions

I'd like to take this moment and opportunity to extend a BIG shout out to the men and women that selflessly sacrifice themselves to keep us safe. I applaud the police, however, Firefighters hold a special place in my heart--as everyone runs out of the burning building in an attempt to save their own lives, Firefighters run into it. How heroic is that?!

Lorenzo, thank you for your service, your story, for uplifting and inspiring me. You are appreciated and your kindness has been paid forward. 

Namaste
#KindnessMovement